uterotopia

7 months and counting!

2009-11-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

Too much time has gone by and the blogs are unkept! I feel bad because I enjoy blogging and sharing about the kids and life in general and keeping in touch with those few of you who I link to via this place. I hope no one's forgotten me! I haven't forgotten you! I have just been insanely busy.

I have more pictures of my precious children to post. THEY ARE GROWING and Emilia is now 7 months and 17lbs. She is wearing size 9 months clothing and just is SUCH a personality!

I will be back later with pictures to share :)

HAVE A GREAT TUESDAY!

MORE PICTURES?

2009-07-12T16:33:00.000-07:00

That is all I ever do here, huh? Post pictures of my girls??? :) CANNOT HELP IT! I am a proud mama! Since I know this isn't happening again, I am EXTRA proud and excited of the girls.

I will have some good ones coming this week of Elena in her dance gear! She is taking lessons now. And Emilia being her cute self will join those pics, no doubt!

Life is fine. Tiring and frustrating more often than not, but the girls are shining lights in the darkness! :)

How can these faces NOT cheer you up?

Time to Look in the Mirror

2009-06-29T22:29:00.000-07:00

It has BEEN time but I have been avoiding it. I weigh from time to time but just haven't been in the place where I can say "okay, I really will watch my food intake and start to exercise." HOW DO MOMS DO IT? Especially newer moms?

I want to SLEEP not go move my body around and sweat, necessitating a very rare and precious SHOWER! As it is I have to schedule those, to be sure the kids are being watched and that big sis is supervised and little sis is kept alive by someone.

So I am not ready to really start to exercise. I WILL start walking. It is rough because it is in the 100s here lately. And my heel spurs are back (had them for a while after Elena was born too). HOWEVER, I hate that I am breastfeeding and not losing weight and it is because I have not reigned in my eating yet.

I eat too much of the bad foods. I don't eat massive quantities, but I do make bad choices. Sometimes I make faster choices because I don't want to spend precious time in the kitchen.

For some reason I am having a hard time deciding to really make the changes I need to make to my food. I have done this countless times before and NEVER found it so hard to really commit to change like I am now. I guess it is because with so many other things to worry about, I don't want to add to the list. I imagine it has something to do with not wanting to invest in planning and executing and possibly failing when it is easier to just be.

Easy is not usually good and that is what I am settling for these days!

So my ass will not shrink any time soon. I do weigh around what I did pre-Emilia, but of course I don't look like I did and I am and probably will continue to stagnate until I sign on to make the serious changes needed to see my weight go down.

THE GOOD NEWS is that I have a very healthy and beautiful breast-fed child who is thriving and growing and continually impressing and amazing me. I focus on that for now and hope the rest will fall into place when I can handle it! I hope that time comes sooner rather than later!

Speaking of my sweet child, here are more pictures and a video for the clammoring masses out there. Okay, so I don't think there are more than two or three of you since no one leaves me messages, but you few are very important people!

ENJOY!

and a pretty one of sister too!

2.5 Months and Counting!

2009-06-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

I say it OFTEN but time flies these days!

My girl is getting so big and I am enjoying ALMOST every minute of it!!! ;)

I have so many pictures to post but here are just a few of the very latest from the last week!

ENJOY!

My favorite:

Making faces:

Being STRONG!

Being DRAWN (by her Elena...self portrait, including Emilia):

Excited:

and chillin' with big sis:

Quick Video for those of you still here! :)

Post Op

2009-05-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

So it has been almost seven weeks since my emergency C-section and life is pretty good from where I sit. It was the hardest week of my life I think (that week of delivery) but my daughter is a blessing I wouldn't trade her for the world.

Having said that, knowing I would have to endure another C section was news I did not take well when it was given, but due to the obvious gravity of the situation, I sucked up the tears quickly. Within 15 minutes, I was getting my spinal. In another five minutes, I was prepped and waiting for the OB to show up.

Having had a previous C, I know how fast things go. Once everyone was in place, the baby appears within minutes. Minutes came and went however, and I felt lots of tugging and heard the doctor voices become more hushed. I found out later how grave the situation really was.

My insides were bad. I had adhesions and bad bad scarring from the last C that made it impossible for them to re-cut. Lots of efforts were made, but they abandoned it in order to expedite the delivery. The scarring was so bad that my fallopian tubes and my bladder were glued to my uterus via this excess tissue. I ended up needing to get a new incision on the vertical and while they were cutting, the old scar on the horizontal ruptured. So I lost a ton of blood.

Once inside of me, they saw that the placenta was falling off my uterus, which is why the baby had bad readings while I was on the monitors (prompting the decision for surgery). Despite this complication, the baby was fine and has no noticeable issues due to lack of blood/oxygen while in the uterus.

I should be EXTREMELY thankful. And I most certainly am! My baby had a rough go of coming into the world but seems fine and is healthy, smart and beautiful!

The problem that saddens me is that the OB who did the surgery, the one they called in to assist due to its complexity and the midwife who was assisting, all agree on the fact that I should not get pregnant again.

This is very depressing news to me on so many levels. I don't even know if I would have had more (even though I know I wanted more), but being told not to get pregnant is not something that I enjoyed hearing. They showed me graphs and used very vivid language in explaining things. They were quite detailed. Hearing the issues I might have, the complexity of future surgeries, the difficulty of recovery and the risks to the child made it clear that they are right, but it is STILL hard to grasp.

I feel young and thinking my child bearing years have come to an end makes me feel old. It makes me feel like a huge part of my life and what I love are no more. I have a new life now. It's a different one.

They first told me immediately after surgery. Then while I was in the hospital recovering for a week, I heard it a number of times more. Then at my follow up appointments, I heard it yet again from the OB one week and the midwife the next week. They both immediately brought up birth control methods and made suggestions. The midwife had me leave with a follow up appointment made to deal with birth control insertion AND gave me strict orders to AVOID SEX until after things are fixed. Until I am fixed. :(

I don't feel ready to make a decision. I felt like they told me which methods they felt were best and I just nodded. I don't know the first thing about these things really because "long term" birth control was never part of my plan.

I feel numb still. I have tried for weeks to come to grips with this news and feel selfish sometimes for mourning so much.

I have two beautiful girls and some people are never blessed with a single child. Some people struggle for years to finally enjoy a pregnancy and birth, oftentimes only after seeking help from science. I have two gorgeous children and I should feel blessed. I do feel blessed, but I cannot help but feel sad for the children I won't have. Sad for the siblings I cannot give my children.

I am also quite Sad for myself. I won't experience pregnancy again. I won't ever again experience the great firsts I have started to enjoy with Emilia.

I won't ever get to be surprised by a plus sign on the pregnancy test. I wont ever again get to tell my husband the good news! Thinking that if I do get pregnant, it will somehow be "bad" news just doesn't compute to me. This is what they have told me, however. Becoming pregnant is BAD. Bad for my health and potentially bad for any child.

I could not struggle with getting pregnant because I know I would have to have that child. So I do have to figure out what to do to avoid getting pregnant.

It is sad, but it also doesn't sit well with me as a Catholic.

There is a lot more thinking that has to be done on this subject, so I am putting off the appointment so that I can do more research and rethink things some. I want to feel good about whatever I do and right now I don't feel ready or able to deal with any of it.

I love my girl and I am glad to have her. I love her sister too. My girls are special and make me a better person. Looking at them makes me happy and always reminds me that although my body seems to have many issues that make having a baby the old fashioned way impossible, it did a good job incubating! Thank God for that much!

One Month and counting!!

2009-04-29T13:52:00.000-07:00

Time passes quickly when you live in a vacuum!

Emilia turns a month old this week!

I have a couple of pictures to share with you that are from this week and today. She has started to smile and that has really made things entertaining. She is a joy--although still thinks midnight to 5 a.m. is "morning". That complicates things as far as getting decent sleep is concerned, but she is still a treasure!

ENJOY!

Emilia Andrea Gracia: Photos from first week

2009-04-15T10:17:00.000-07:00

These are all cell phone images we captured during week one at home. Excuse mess and mismatched clothes and no makeup having faces! :)

I know it looks like all she does is sleep but its quite the opposite. She cries a *LOT* and eats even more. She is ALWAYS hungry it seems. This is a mixed blessing. I am dropping weight like no one's business, but breast feeding can be quite painful with an eater like this (who also refuses to latch well)!

So there is no such thing as a free lunch! I am paying dearly for this weight loss! (Pain, lack of sleep, rinse & repeat.) I can not think of another diet that is too much easier. No pain no gain, right?

;)

More pics to come once I get my camera ones online and re-sized!

Have a great day!

Our New Baby is Home!

2009-04-07T09:52:00.000-07:00

We went into the hospital last Monday night and only came home last night! A WHOLE WEEK we were there! :(

Our daughter, Emilia Andrea Gracia, was born at 9:17pm on March 30th. She was 8lbs 9ozs and is 20 inches long.

She is something else! Came out screaming and with her eyes open taking everything in! We got to spend a LOT of time with her immediately and she was very quiet and her eyes were looking us over and looking at anyone who handled her. So insane to watch an infant be that alert!

She was born via emergency C section and the section was not without complications. It took a long time and I ended up needing blood replenished afterward. It was a rough go for sure! Thankfully I had all the complications and aftershocks and she was flawless. Not even jaundiced! Healthy little angel!

Pictures will come shortly!!!

I'm DUE today!!!

2009-03-29T07:56:00.000-07:00

I have had contractions off and on but NOTHING near what it should be if labor was impending.

This morning I did have some bloody show though (gross I know) but that damn near had me in tears. It is the beginning of the end and I see a light at the end of the tunnel. FINALLY.

I didnt have this with ELena, so we will see what the day brings.

Off to shower, get dressed, go to church, then go for a long walk and hope for the best! WISH ME LUCK and please pray that things progress sooner rather than later! :)

More updates to come. And watch this space for pictures as soon as she is delivered!

39 week appointment

2009-03-23T12:34:00.000-07:00

:(

NO CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm still 2cm, still thick, and still my cervix is high. Anyone surprised? Me neither.

The midwife couldn't even strip my membranes because they are TOO HIGH for her short fingers. :)

It has been an emotional day for me and I cannot explain why completely. Part of me is sad I am not going early. Part of me is worried about the VBAC not being able to happen. Part of me is scared about labor and even the baby coming home. I just got hit with a flood of emotions in my appointment and couldn't stop crying! :) THankfully I was with my favorite midwife who was very reassuring and sweet about it all.

It turns out she is on call today, Wednesday then again this weekend. I had the dates wrong!! Then next week i have my 40th week appointment on Monday but I HOPE I DON'T MAKE IT THAT FAR!!!! *fingers xed*

One good thing that happened is that I got to see the little one since the midwife couldn't find her heartbeat. This girl wouldn't stay still!!!! She finally saw her on the u/s then was able to find her heartbeat. Oh my goodness, this girl is so active. she has been bouncing around ALLLLLL morning and my tummy is hurting. wish she'd take a nap or something!

Weird how she feels sooooooooooooo low like she is about to pop out but she ISN'T yet.

I started early labor ON MY due date last time and I am guessing its the same this time. With any luck this weekend I start my early labor *fingers xed* since my due date is Sunday!!!!!!

She said whatever I do don't lay off the EPO. Apparently it is better to keep it up than not to, so I am taking it. Hope along with me that things move by this weekend. I would rather not go past my due date and I would also rather NOT be delivered by one of the other midwives.

Glad I got my good cry in. I feel a little better. Hopefully, I can start doing the positive visualization. I need to be in a better state of mind! SOON!!

Keep me in your prayers! :)

Bringing it on....

2009-03-19T07:40:00.000-07:00

Or so I hope. Trying everything in the book (almost)!

Turns out my midwife is on call sat/Sunday, then next week on Wednesday and Friday. My due date is that weekend after Friday. I hope I go on one of those days!!! I really am hoping to get her, but if I don't go this weekend, I see her on Monday for my regular 39 week appt. At that point I will talk to her about having her possibly come in for me whenever it is that I go. That would relieve me from a lot of stress!!!

I am also wondering if this kid is going to take her time like her sister did. I didn't start early labor with Elena until my DUE DATE! If that is the case, this girl could leave me hanging another 10 days! :(

I don't want her out so much because I am ready to evict her. I actually feel fairly good all things considered. I just want to get the midwife I want. Not having her expand any more would be ideal as well. I'm actually surprised at how good I feel.

My ligaments are expanded beyond capacity and I feel huge, but I am sleeping decently (considering) and have been in more pain at different points throughout the pregnancy. The end is supposed to the be worst, but I am doing okay so far! YES walking hurts and YES I feel like my belly might sink between my legs at any given moment, but that is par for the course, no? There is a living, squirming, large little monkey growing in there!

Will be keeping this updated as things develop...or don't! :( PRAY FOR ME!!!

Picture of me yesterday.
More pics on my other blog.

:)

14 days left...or less?

2009-03-16T20:55:00.000-07:00

38 week appointment was today. It was a mix of emotions, but mostly good!

First they did an ultrasound which was had me excited and frightened. They estimate the baby's weight (on a static formula they plug my baby's info into) to be at 9 lbs 10 oz. I know this isn't true just based on the fact that the formula is flawed and didn't hold true for my last child. I do not deny that this is a large baby. I know I have those! But I don't think this kid is nearly 10 lbs with two more weeks to go!

(Image above not my child ;) but still cute!)

HOWEVER, I did see my child on the ultrasound and it was such an uplifting, happy moment. I don't remember feeling so moved before in previous ultrasounds of TWO kids! This child looks adorable and I cannot wait to see what she really looks like. What was so precious is that you saw her cheeks moving in utero as she was sucking on her fingers. you saw her eyes open and close and you saw her head move and her hands move as she adjusted herself. It was so surreal and beautiful. Her cheeks look so sweet and pinchable! Really chubby and cute!

I know that two of the three midwives are more clinical and one is worried about my baby's weight so I was a little worried about what they would say when they saw the information of the U/s at my regular appointment later that morning. It turns out I saw the MUCH more laid back midwife, who I really want to be the lady in the room with me when I deliver. She was wonderful and also believes the ultrasound is wrong based on her very firm probing of my belly. OUCH! She said it feels VERY long and thin (like her sister is) and that she expects her to probably weigh what Elena weighed. She also said even if it was right, based on my daughter's body type, our sizes, etc, she doesn't think it will be a problem. PLUS this kid's head is slightly smaller than her sister's was, which is more good news.

We are doing Evening Primrose Oil and today was my first vaginal check. She said I'm almost at 2 centimeters dilated and that if I go this coming weekend or the following weekend, SHE IS ON CALL! :) LOL I hope my child cooperates!!!!

I don't know who works during the week, but I certainly hope we have a chance at her being the person who comes in to help deliver this baby!

I gained one pound, which is weird since my last appointment was only five days ago, but with only two weeks to go and no weight gained in almost three months, I cannot complain.

I am really getting anxious and hope we don't have long to wait! I am ready for things to go down this weekend. I need a couple of days to relax after all the stress of the past few days, including today (see post on other blog tomorrow). After a few rest up days, I am ready to rock and roll! :)

BRING IT BABY!!!

I, however, have a feeling this kid is nice and cozy where she is. Looking at her face, you would think she was big and strong enough to come out YESTERDAY, but she's coming in her time. Maybe she's a procrastinator like her mommy (and her sister--who was three days late)!

LET US HOPE NOT!

:)

37 week appointment Today!

2009-03-12T11:58:00.000-07:00

WOOHOO no weight gain!

Measuring full term. (You are thinking "Duh!" if you saw my pictures! lol)

Have an upcoming appointment for Monday for an ultrasound where we will get a weight on the baby and they might stimulate things (stripping membranes I think).

17 days left until I'm due!

That is all! :)

37 weeks

2009-03-09T09:33:00.000-07:00

I hit that marker yesterday. I have an appointment Thursday and then the following week I get to see my baby again! I cannot wait to see her again! :)

In the meantime, I think my driving days are over for now. I have been feeling just too large and vulnerable so I have been arranging for rides most places. I think I may still drive here or there for a few things, but mostly I opt to avoid driving. Don't want to push my luck.

We are almost ready! I still need a few things but most are things you don't need on day one, so we can acquire a few things here and there as we go. I also received some gifts from friends who are out of town. I am opening them later this week in a little virtual shower we are having. Cannot wait to see what the little one got! :)

Nothing else huge going on here. I am just adjusting to the idea of the end and hoping for the best when we go to a family of three to four! As it approaches, it seems that one is getting harder and harder to deal with so the idea of two seems more and more daunting. :( I know its doable. I mean I don't have a choice at this point. LOL However, it is still a scary prospect!

36.5 Weeks :) THE END IS Near!!!!

2009-03-04T17:57:00.000-08:00

So I had my appointment today and it went well. I asked a ton of questions and I finally feel like the end is near!! Because of the pain I have been experiencing and sleeplessness, I found out I can take Tylenol pm which I didn't know. I am happy to hear it and HOPING it helps because not sleeping before getting an infant is the worst! :(

The midwife also said that she wants me to start evening primrose oil to help prep the cervix and get it softened and ready to go. This stimulates labor to some degree....so I'm starting that tomorrow when I am able to go buy some.

I am measuring full term now. I figured this because I knew my belly had grown. It has felt bigger and I have felt less mobile and more uncomfortable (putting it lightly). For the past few weeks I've been measuring 38 weeks and holding there for a while. So growth was bound to happen!

I also gained one pound, but all in all I cant complain because it has been over two months of NO weight gain so I can live with one pound! Especially at this point in the pregnancy when weight gain is usually rampant!

Yesterday I met with a girlfriend who took some pregnancy pictures for me since I cannot afford to go pay for maternity shots right now. She did a good job and now I have some keep sakes of my belly...which is huge. Don't freak, but it is a large round tummy!

Here are some of the shots:

I'm hoping to hold steady where I am for a while because I'm not sure how much more girth I can stand!

Keep me in your thoughts and thanks for looking! :)

Almost MARCH!!!

2009-02-25T13:46:00.000-08:00

And what does that mean? It is almost FOUR WEEKS until this baby is due! :)

UPDATES:

My newest favorite thing: Any beverage from Sonic. Why? Because the ice is so delish there. It isn't really hard like regular ice so its easy to crunch and suck on and enjoy! Not sure why but that is REALLY hitting the spot these days! The ice from home just pales in comparison!

Elena had a corn dog from there the other day and I had a bite and LIKED IT! I have never liked corn dog in my LIFE. *That* is a very weird turn of events!

Another tid bit: I wasn't planning on it, but I ended up registering at Babies R Us for this upcoming baby's arrival. I am not having a baby shower, but people kept asking me if I was registered somewhere so I thought it wouldn't hurt to create a small registry. It is under my name and Josue's so it shouldn't be too hard to find (San Antonio, TX).

If you feel the desire to, feel free to purchase something off of it, if not, then just send money! ;) LOL Just kidding. Look out for a birth announcement to come in just ONE MONTH!!!

Since I didn't do a baby shower, I may have a get together if I feel up to it sometime after the baby arrives. That really depends on how the baby arrives, how I feel, how our place looks, etc. :) LOTS OF things up in the air at this point.

ALSO: I have been looking into pre-kindergarten schools for Elena. I am just frustrated because apparently I am way way behind schedule with this! Most had their registrations back in JANUARY! :( So I'm the slacker mom. I am on two waiting lists in town and I'm still looking. Trying to find something that works and that is affordable and that seems stimulating for her. I just think it will be important for her to have her space and time away from me and the baby, especially early on.

We will try to do one or two days a week at the Spanish Immersion program as well for summer. She has been going there over a year now and doing quite well! She has learned so much! If all else fails, we'll keep here there for her PreK year.

And if you read my other blog, you know about Elena's dental situation. :( It is a whole other kink I wasn't expecting that will hopefully be resolved soon.

There is actually more to tell but this is getting long, so I will be back soon with more!

Have a happy and safe Wednesday! :)

Thirty Five weeks Minus two days! :)

2009-02-19T20:01:00.000-08:00

Only five more weeks to go! This is happening quickly!!!!

We had the 34 week appointment earlier this week and it was pretty uneventful. Pee in a cup, get measured, weighed, poked at a bit, groped and listen to the heartbeat. The baby sounds good and is not as huge as they were expecting.

The midwife can feel around my belly and tell where different body parts are. The baby is head down and apparently low down ready to rock n roll!:) We have five weeks yet to go, so she can still change her mind about her position, but i hope she doesn't!

It was another visit without a weight gain too! THIS IS AMAZING! In my first pregnancy I gained ALL MY WEIGHT in the last three months or so. This time, I haven't gained anything yet in this time period! Funny how different things can be! I haven't gained in two months thus far and with one to go, I am hopeful that the weight gain will be minimized. So far its 30lbs and that is less than last go round and while not ideal, DEFINITELY good! :)

I am going to the hospital website in a few to preregister since apparently I was supposed to do that by now. I didn't think of it for some reason and so I need to get that done ASAP. Packing a bag might be a good thing to do soon too. I should make a list of things to do so that i stop forgetting them!

Pregnancy really does suck out your brain. I was a forgetful person before my pregnancies, but it seems to worsen during pregnancies.

I'll post another picture soon!

Hospital Tour

2009-02-12T08:22:00.000-08:00

We finally were able to make it for a hospital tour night before last. It was interesting and really made me realize how CLOSE this is becoming. VERY SOON we'll have our family expanded by one.

The tour included a look at Labor & Delivery rooms and the rooms you stay in after the work is done. The L&D rooms were awesome. Really big and nice. The rooms you spend MOST of your time in were tiny though! I guess it doesn't matter really since I won't be there long.

However, for a measly $300 dollars extra, per night, I could stay in a VIP room. These rooms are much nicer. They are roomier, include fridges and a living area separate from the rest area. Both areas have flat-screen televisions as well. However, this extra money is not covered by insurance, so it has to come out of OUR pockets. I cannot imagine paying that extra money. If I had a fairy god mother, I'd request the upgrade! :)

Our favorite stop was the nursery! ADORABLE little children were in there. They were very small and just looked so sweet. Elena was oohing and ahhing over them too and says she's ready for her sister to come. I know her heart is in the right place, but we'll see how she really reacts once it all sets in and she's stuck with a sibling that is loud and time consuming.

All in all the tour was informative and helped me realize how close we are to this new reality. TIME TO PANIC! :)

I am very excited to meet my little one, but I'm going to miss carrying her around, even though it is tiring and painful at times. I will also remember fondly the time before the baby joined the mix--our times as a threesome.

I feel quite unready and I am trying to get ready in the next two or so weeks. I am still taking inventory of what we have and what we need and when we have to acquire the things we need in order to spread out the costs involved.

Slowly but surely, things will come together though, I am sure!

;)

TWO MONTHS TO GO AND COUNTING!!!!

2009-02-04T15:17:00.000-08:00

Holy moly! It is already February and I am due in less than eight weeks! :)

I had an appointment yesterday--my 32 week appointment. It went well. The midwife measured me and we talked some and heard the heartbeat. These are mostly routine visits where not a lot happens. The biggest issue is seeing scale and what it has to say. ALWAYS so much stress in that part of the visit! :)

It has been good news for me thus far, however. I have been holding steady for over a month now, with no weight gain. This is harder to do toward the end, because the babies gain 1/3 of their entire weight in the last trimester and the blood supply grows as well. All of this equals WEIGHT gain for mama. I am hoping the last few visits aren't too bad, however. I want to be able to keep this trend going of no weight gain, but its not very likely!

I have had a little relief from my SPD with the chiro visits and by following all the "rules" for keeping your legs together and sitting correctly, etc. It isn't easy to do it and remember it all the time, but I do see that its making a difference and making my last few weeks more tolerable. ANY bit of relief is huge!

Given that most babies weigh 3.75 pounds during this week and are about 16.7 inches long, my guess is that my "little" pumpkin is a big bigger. I've consistently been running big and she was estimated at 28 weeks to weigh a pound more than average, so I'm guessing she's closer to five pounds by now.

This makes sense since they say that they gain about a third of their weight in the last 8 weeks. Given that my daughter was over nine pounds at birth, I fully expect this child to be around the same weight. They say that second babies run larger, so this child may outweigh my last by an ounce or two. That is my guess anyway! :)

Elena was 9lbs 6oz at birth and 21 1/2 inches long. Want to take a guess as to the weight and height on this second child?

This could be interesting! :)

31 weeks and one day! :)

2009-01-26T12:18:00.000-08:00

Time is flying!

I had to post again because today I am wearing a tight shirt. I was desperate and there was so little available at target that was NOT winter! HELLO! It is Texas and we have had some WARM weather off and on with the "chillier" temperatures. I only have winter maternity clothes!

Here I am today:

I went to the chiropractor this weekend and it seems to have helped ever so slightly. I notice that the pain isn't as bad early in the morning. I left feeling fine but in about 30 minutes I was back to where I was before the appointment. So its taken the edge off, but this is really still difficult to deal with. I am doing okay otherwise!

This week my big girl has her birthday festivities! I'm excited that she's bigger and stronger and happy and almost FOUR YEARS OLD! It should be an exciting week if I can manage to keep my house clean! :) That is a serious struggle since I'm moving much slower and NOT bending over anymore! ;) LOL

Thank God for my little helper! She's closer to the ground and really has been a big help during the pregnancy, especially now as I'm getting slower and bigger. Thank goodness for my munchkin!

OB Consult and 30 week appt.

2009-01-22T12:18:00.000-08:00

I am 30 weeks as of this past weekend. This means I am actually closer to 31 weeks today than I was yesterday! :) Things are chugging along nicely! Here is a picture taken yesterday.

Today we went in to meet the OB who would be performing my Csection, should the need for one arise. He was VERY optimistic about me VBAC'ing which made my day!!!

He said that he doesn't go by u/s weight like my previous group did. He uses head size to determine whether they recommend a Csection. He said even with 98 percentile, other factors play into things and that overall, I looked like a strong candidate!

He was the OB I was planning on using if I didn't go with the midwives, and it turns out he is the OB they use for their c-sections. He was a little creepy looking online in the photo I saw, but in person he was a really sweet man! He talked to us forever and was funny and nice and I enjoyed him very much! I felt comfortable and that really made me happy because I'd like to know whoever gives me a Csection should I need to have one. Last time I met the doctor AT the operation and that was NO FUN!

The doctor was able to feel the baby in my uterus because she was pressing up against the front and he heard the heartbeat immediately which he said sounded strong and healthy.

He also said that they don't use stirrups and are open to different birthing positions which is helpful given the SPD I have developed.

I'm really getting excited about meeting this little girl. The pregnancy has been so different, it just makes me curious to meet her and see what she is really like--physically and otherwise!!!

On keeping my legs together...

2009-01-20T11:18:00.000-08:00

There has been an interesting development in my pregnancy. I have had some "normal" pains here and there and I didn't think TOO much of it until they got to be worse. I had some days where I wanted to cry. This is all in the last week or so that things have escalated.

It isn't too bad really. The worse part is that sitting hurts, standing hurts and walking hurts. Pretty much all daily movements like putting pants on, getting in and out of the car, going up stairs, etc HURT--sometimes quite badly. No biggie, right?

Obviously, I am trying to make light of my suffering. This really is a pain in the ass and quite upsetting. I have been researching and learned that the pain has a name and can be long lasting, even into post partum. It is called SPD or SYMPHYSIS PUBIS DYSFUNCTION.

It is caused by pregnancy and the hormones which are released at too large of a quantity, too soon, in some moms. Having multiple pregnancies increases your chances of having it. But it seems quite random as a lot of first time moms seem to be stricken with it. Some people don't have it set in until delivery and then it lasts a few weeks or months. Some people get it early in pregnancy and it gets worse as things progress. For some lucky few, it starts late in pregnancy and disappears after birth. I hope I am one of those individuals!!!

There are a number of interesting articles and explanations (and forums) online discussing the issue. Most say there are therapies available for treatment but I don't know what I'll be covered to have just yet or what my midwives will recommend. I did call my chiro (which i pay out of pocket for) only to find out that she isn't certified or trained to treat in what I need. I am going to see her this weekend for a referral to someone else. I just don't now how much I can afford to pay out of pocket for treatment!

It gets worse as the baby gains weight, so there is some fun in store for me yet! Sometimes it can make delivery more difficult since your range of motion in your hips is compromised quite a bit. For now, I get in and out of my car with my legs together and move in bed the same way. I sit to get dressed and do not ever balance on one leg (as you would while standing and putting pants on). I go slowly up and down stairs and have lots of clicking sounds in my hips. I think its these bones/ligaments moving around in my pelvis.

Last night, while falling asleep, I coughed and heard 3 distinct popping sounds out of my hip/pelvic area. VERY WEIRD.

I am going to call the midwives in a bit to see what they recommend. I would talk to them at my next appointment Thursday, but Thursday I see an OB for my consult in case I have a C-section. I will hopefully get in to see the midwives the same day just for a quick discussion of this latest exciting development! :)

Can I get a WHOOP WHOOOP!!!????

2009-01-16T12:45:00.000-08:00

Just got the call. I do NOT have gestational diabetes. My blood results were in normal ranges. I just have a macrosomic child (i.e. large baby). My mom had larger than normal (8-9+ pound range) babies, and I guess so do I! Doesn't help that my husband is a TALL dude and we have TALL babies. We already know this one is a tall one too based on the last ultrasound.

We wont take a peek at the baby again until week 37 or 38, but it is safe to say she'll stay on the large side. I'm going to be on my best behavior foodwise just because at this point, the baby is sucking nutrients out of my body at fast/massive rates because of the growth she is undergoing. To avoid low blood sugar spells (dizziness) and other issues, I want to be sure I'm eating healthily.

Right now her bones are hardening and she's working on building her lungs and other vital organs for birth. This is an exciting time in the womb!

It is exciting outside too since we have a lot to prepare for!

Only ten weeks left as of this weekend! :)

FAILURE!! :(

2009-01-15T14:51:00.000-08:00

So-- I failed the one hour gestational diabetes test I took last week :( I found out on Monday. It was already past five thirty so I thought I was safe. But then the phone rang. The nurse apologized and told me I failed and needed to come in soon (this week) for the three hour test.

Today, I went in for that test. First, I tried to get out of it, but they were pretty adamant that if for whatever reason I was NOT diabetic, they need it in my paperwork. This makes a difference when it comes to my trying to VBAC. So I went ahead and went through with it.

I had to be there at 8:45 a.m. to get my orders and head to the lab at the hospital (where my midwives are). Before nine, I had my blood drawn and by nine I was drinking my gross sweet orange drink and by 9:05 I was done. I was there getting my blood drawn for the next three hours. I read some, wrote some, and slept some. Unfortunately, I had a headache the whole time, so it wasn't the best time ever.

When it was all done, I was ready to drink, because I was unable to drink even water since last night! :( That is a long time for a preggie to go without water! Being without water caused some problems with my veins, but it all ended well.

That is...until tomorrow. I get the results then and I can only hope its good news! If I do have GD it will mean quite a lot to the remainder of my pregnancy. I won't go into it now, but I will if the need arise. I'm hoping to not have to worry about it at all. HOPEFULLY by tomorrow I will get my results either way! For the one hour test, they only call if you fail. I am not sure how it works for the GD test as no one mentioned it and I didn't think to ask! I may call them myself to find out in the morning so I know what to expect!

28 week appointment

2009-01-10T14:25:00.000-08:00

It was a big one. had a u/s, glucose test and regular appointment.

From now on I will be returning every two weeks. In two I go back for my c-section consult with the ob they work with (I see midwives) and he'll do my regular appointment.

As of right now, I'm officially:

So when I got there I went, peed in a cup then drank my delicious orange glucose drink that burns my throat and then left to another floor for my ultrasound. I went back for my regular appointment time, but they were running late due to a delivery so I went back up and had my blood drawn, then I returned to the regular appointment.

THE BEST NEWS EVER is that I only gained ONE POUND!!!!! Happy happy day!

The baby IS running big. She's 3lbs and 7oz...apparently, on the larger size for her age. She is running in the 90th percentile and measuring in 30 week range. So there you go. Another biggun coming!!

The midwife was sweet and said she really thinks that it is fine and that she isn't so huge that we should start thinking about NOT having a vbac. So we'll see. She also said that the baby looks LONG (probably why I feel every movement) and has really long legs (not unlike her sister)!

Thankfully, the baby looked good. We got one profile shot and she looks the same as it did two months ago. She has the same profile as my daughter so we have another daddy clone on the way.

It was a nice appointment overall and I'm really pleased with things. I FORGOT TO ASK my questions, however, even though I had them written on a piece of paper in my purse. BABYBRAIN strikes again! I forgot LAST MONTH too and the question I have that is the biggest one is about hospital tours! I have been unable to find the info online thus far. I'm gonna call the docs next week to see if they can give me more info so I can find out when we can do it. It is getting too close to put it off another few weeks since I don't know how easy/hard they are to book or how often they do them. Since this is a new state, new hospital, etc, I realy want to scope things out.

They said I will hear about the glucose test by Monday/Tuesday IF I failed. If I don't hear, that means all is well. So here we go!!! I am hoping not to have my phone ringing come Monday! :)

Some C-Section Talk

2009-01-08T14:29:00.000-08:00

As delivery of this child grows nearer, I am starting to wonder about what my fate will end up being. Will I be able to VBAC as I am hoping, or will I be facing a repeat C-section?

We are proceeding in hopes of a vaginal delivery since I'm not sure that this will be my last child and I would hate to undergo major abdominal surgery two or three times if it can be helped.

Two months after my c-section, almost four years ago (in three weeks), I had to undergo a (traditional incision) gall bladder removal. That was two major surgeries in weeks of each other in one year. I was not happy about so much recovery time and I hope that I won't have to go through it all again after this pregnancy ends.

I was reading a few things online and ran across some interesting articles. This one is about the c-section rates in Canada, which are lower than they are here in the U.S. According to the article, first time moms are having C-sections for convenience or because they are fearful of delivery. Don't most people know that our bodies were MADE to do this?

The rates are even higher if you have had a C-section before. Apparently, most moms who have C-sections opt to have repeat Cs or are required to since fewer and fewer doctors are willing to take on the "risks" involved in VBACs. This article discusses how lightly the surgery is taken by doctors and moms. It seems that many are eager to see their children earlier rather than later and avoid the last week or two of pregnancy, which are infamously long, uncomfortable and sometimes painful. Doctors are often willing to accommodate these requests, or would like earlier surgeries to keep their own schedules balanced.

I just don't know how something so major and dangerous has become so common and misunderstood. Many first-time-moms are unaware of the risks of a C-section.

Here is a final great blog entry that does a good job examining the issue from several different angles. I found it interesting and enjoyed how it connected to so many other informative pieces!

ENJOY!

New Year update!

2009-01-01T20:28:00.000-08:00

Time is FLYING!

I don't even believe the last post I made was after my last apppointment!? And I have another one in just one short week? It is my 28 week appointment, so I am just about 7 months along!

Looks a bit like this inside now:

The baby is supposedly 2.25lbs and about 14.5 inches long. This one feels really big and really strong! :) In only one week we get another peek at her and we'll get a better idea of her size.

This is what they call the home stretch I believe. It is really going quickly and we are closer to the end that I would have imagined. I just keep thinking we have all the time in the world, but we don't! I have quite a lot to get done before too much more time passes. The crib is in storage and there are lots of boxes to go through of old baby things. Hopefully lots of it is usable and it needs to be sorted and washed and put away.

I also have a few things I need to purchase before this next little one joins us. Our old intercom system crapped out, so a new one is needed. And I'd like to get a two-seater stroller. Not the regular kind where it holds two kids and its huge, but the kind where the big kid sits on the back part in this little pull down area. That way its not a huge bulky stroller, and we don't have to use if if Elena isn't up to it. I have a feeling with a baby getting a free ride, she'll want one too. Just in case, I think buying one of these would be wise.

Not sure if I'll be having a baby shower. I don't really know enough PEOPLE! :) LOL MY girlfriend wants to throw me one, but a party might be better than an actual proper baby shower (traditional one) since I don't have enough girls to invite really! :) I only know a few people I'd want there and that wouldn't make for very exciting festivities I think.

Happy New Year! Only three more months til I meet my new edition to the familia! :)

Still Growing....

2008-12-18T20:21:00.000-08:00

I had my Six month appointment today. It went well!

THE BEST NEWS EVER is that I only gained 3 pounds! And I was wearing my heavy ass shoes since my heel spurs and sciatica have been acting up. (They are gross ass New Balance shoes that I call Frankenstein Shoes--for reasons you can imagine I'm sure.)

Last month I gained ...well lots more than three pounds! :) So I was very happy to see that number go way down this month!

The baby is healthy and seems to be growing more than the norm. She could feel the baby and said she seems large! She said, "You just don't have small babies." I concur. I knew this kid was big based on the movement and pain inflicted on me in the process of her wading around inside me!

Elena came with me and gave up one of her homemade sugar cookies to the midwife. She had a blast in the waiting room talking to all the moms and looking at all the babies. This girl is so social it is bizarre to me sometimes. I mean I like a good chat as much as anyone, but WHOA, this girl takes it to the level of a competitive sport it seems! :)

Next month will bring my second sugar test and another ultrasound. This should be my second to the last one. We'll have another at the very end just to determine birth weight and decide if it will be a planned C-section or if we'll attempt vaginal delivery. Since this kid is already running big, we'll see how things go!

OUCHIE!

2008-12-03T18:37:00.000-08:00

So it started.

A few weeks ago I had little ouches and owies, but today, it was here in FULL effect. :( My pelvic muscles feel like they are screaming for mercy. My belly is growing, and with it, the weight on my muscles. OUCHIE doesn't begin to cover it.

If I'm sitting, it is fine, but once I stand up to walk, OUCH! It means I am growing realy fast. I'm just a few days shy of six months, so it feels really early to me for this to be happening, but they say it happens faster the second time.

While I'm mostly enjoying this pregnancy, I'm worried about what this pain means. At just 24 months, what is in store for the REST of this long journey? Will my pain get worse? Time to whip out the pregnancy girdle (sounds horrible but its a blessing and a half ladies). I just didn't think I'd need it so early!!!!

The second time is definately NOT like the first.

Other new development is realy bad heartburn. I didn't have much with dd or at the beginning of this pregnancy, but now it is everpresent! :( I'm curious to see what the next few weeks bring!

All I know is that this kid is HUGE. Feels like she has to be much larger than they say. I can *see* my belly moving now! Those kicks and bumps are visible to the naked eye because they are so strong! One kick woke me up two nights ago! :) Dh has felt kicks on his back waking him too! This kiddo is gonna be a tae kwando star!! ;)

Our Day Today...More Appointments!

2008-11-20T15:50:00.000-08:00

We started the day off SUPER early. Well...early for me! :)

My girl was with her grandparents by 8am and we were on our way to the perinatologist for the second ultrasound. We got in quickly and the tech measured all of the body parts on the baby. Pretty much, looks like the baby is RIGHT at where it should be.

Heart has the right number of chambers. The organs all look to be developing fine. The brain looks good. All the stuff that should be there is there.

And the really good news is that the placenta has moved up some, meaning it won't be in the way later on when its time to give birth! We also found out that my fibroids haven't grown much at all, meaning one less issue to contend with later. Apparently when they grow too much they sap some of the blood supply from the baby, so they will want to keep an eye on that going forward...JUST to be safe.

We were asked again if we wanted to know the sex and dh and I looked at each other. I told him it was up to him. He said he wanted to. I asked the tech if she knew yet, and she said, "Oh yeah! I saw it at the beginning." So then dh says, "TELL US!"

LMFAO!!!!

So much for self control this time around, huh? Heheehee!

So we found out. No more not knowing. Will it be pink or blue? Will we need hair bows or little sneakers? Will Elena have a baby sister or a baby brother?

We had a hunch it was a boy. I hoped for a girl (afraid of the unknown). Josh had a boy dream and I had weird unable-to-figure-the-sex-out dreams. :)

At the end of the day, I was STILL surprised. How is that even possible? LOL!

After that excitement, I had my regular appointment with the midwives. Nothing happened there. Pee in cup, get measured, weighed and poked at. It was fine. No more ultrasounds for two more months. Gestational diabetes test at the same time. Next appointment is the week before Christmas! :)

So that is that!

Boogie Woogie Baby!!!

2008-11-13T14:29:00.000-08:00

I thought this kid moved a lot three weeks ago after the ultrasound I had. But it seems like that was NOTHING!

The kid stopped moving and worried me some for a couple of weeks and now he/she just WILL NOT STOP! It is crazy and now this image:

has a complete new meaning to me!!!! THIS IS WHAT I FEEL is happening in my abdomen MOST of the time lately! :) LOL

It sometimes makes you feel a bit sick. Sometimes it is just entertaining for hubby and daughter. It makes it feel more real and gives them a way to interact with the baby. Sometimes it is very comforting because it reassures me, letting me know the kid is growing and thriving inside of me.

On occasion, it can be weird when you feel a round bump up against one part of my belly, and then feel it slowly move away. Was that his/her rump? Was it a head? What was that weird rubbing feeling that just went past against my hand? Yup. It can be weird!

Regardless of the feeling it gives me or others, it is life growing inside of me. I'm completely humbled by the miracle taking place. I'm also worried to some degree. it is just past the half way mark for me and yet, I feel like this kid is HUGE! There are 20 more weeks to go! HOW MUCH BIGGER will he/she get??? Hopefully no bigger than his/her big sister! She was a whopping 9lbs 4oz. I would like to not have a baby any bigger than that! I want a cute little guy who fits in all his/her newborn clothing! :) My daughter left quite a few outfits unused! :)

Things are going well. I go in one week to get another ultrasound and I look forward to seeing this little tatertot. HOPEFULLY he/she is right where he/she should be sizewize! CROSS YOUR FINGERS!

Germs, Boogers, and Sneezing...OH MY!

2008-11-03T16:48:00.000-08:00

Feeling pretty gross right about now!!!! It has been a rough few days as I seem to have caught a cold from my daughter. I am not entirely convinced it is merely a cold, however, since I have never seen boogars this copious and this GREEN! SICK-- I know! :)

Hopefully, this will be passing soon. I'm as drugged up as a preggie can be and pretty tired and miserable. Lots of headaches, and lots of emotions running wild. I think my weakened state has left me more emotional and weepy. NOT GOOD!

I cannot wait to get my strength back!

Oh...and I'm almost 20 weeks! Almost at the half way mark! I just have one more week to go! :)

Say CHEEEESE!!!

2008-10-27T15:56:00.000-07:00

That is exactly how it felt at the ultrasound last week. This kid was totally posing and almost vogueing it seemed. LOL. He/she (yes we still don't know) was MOVING LIKE CRAZY! I'm convinced they hate the U/S because of the sound waves or something.

Because the tech didn't copy images to the cd we brought, all I have is a pic of one of the shots. It is hard to photograph these and dh hasn't scanned them at his job yet, so this is all I have!

ANYHOW....he/she gave us side, front, back, etc views. We saw nothing between the legs, but you mostly see the skeleton anyway. The tech does things to tweak the pic to see certain areas better and she was about to when I reminded her (she hadn't read our paperwork i guess?) that we did not want to know. Part of me REALLY wished I didn't say anything, because hubby wasn't listening and he wouldn't have stopped her. :)

I asked him again if he was SURE and he said yes he was (after having wavered the week before the u/s). SO THERE YOU GO!

The baby has a beautiful spine and long toes and fingers...much like another spawn of mine. Hmmmmmmm.

This baby also has a VERY familiar profile. This leads me to seriously wonder if we have another carbon copy of daddy. When we saw the profile, hubby said with a HUGE GRIN plastered across his face, "Uh-oh. DEJAVU huh?" That grin was too much. He must love having dominant DNA. Bastard! lol

I am hoping that things change somehow or that I saw wrong, because I want a child to look related to me. IS THAT SO WRONG!!?? LOL

The best news is that baby is good. 13 cms (I think) and half a pound. I say I think because the tech said, "The baby is measuring 13" and moved on to a long list of other things and I never got to ask. I am assuming 13 cms although I don't know the conversion to inches. I know by now they are supposed to be about 5 inches rump to head. Apparently, this kid is right on schedule to where he/she should be and looks healthy.

The "bad" news was that the placenta is low (near cervix) and I have a fibroid across from it, also by the birth canal. This could make vaginal delivery (which I'm trying for after having a c-section last time) difficult. They say that its very early and with the growth of the uterus, the placenta moves, so not to worry yet. HOWEVER, they do wanna keep me under observation to see how things develop. I am going back the week before thanksgiving for another ultrasound to see if anythings changed.

WITH ANY LUCK the placenta will move up as my uterus grows AND the fibroid WILL NOT GROW at all. *Fingers crossed*

Bump Bump!

2008-10-22T11:55:00.000-07:00

It was a happy moment a few minutes ago. I was typing away and felt a bumping in my abdomen. I stopped and moved my hand to the side where I felt it and waited. Sure enough, a minute or so later, I felt more thumpitys! Very neat.

I called my daughter to come and feel, but the movements stopped. She sure was patient, keeping her hand there and encouraging the baby for at least five minutes (an hour in normal-adult time). No luck this time, though.

Those weren't the first bumps I felt, but they were the first ones I felt with my hand. Probably the third bump in total. This one hasn't been too active yet. We'll see if that changes with time.

Tomorrow I'll be back. I have an appt with the midwife and one with the perinatologist. I get to meet with her because of my "advanced maternal age". You know how ancient I am and all. The good news is that I get an anatomy scan where they size the baby, check organs, etc.

Although we were decidedly against finding out the sex, there is some wavering happening now. We are weighing the pros and cons and need to make up our minds by 9 am tomorrow! We also have to cross our fingers to get a room that has the capacity to tape the ultrasound. If we are allowed to do that, then we can share with family/friends the baby's "first" pictures. (We have a 7 week ultrasound that is TECHNICALLY the first picture, but honestly, I couldn't see much in it.)

We will see what news I have tomorrow when I return from our appointments!

Food! GLORIOUS FOOD!

2008-10-09T07:34:00.000-07:00

Finally, my palate is returning!

With the second trimester, I'm noticing higher emotions and higher tolerance for a variety of foods. For the longest time, I have had severe aversions to MOST foods, which has made eating a varied diet (or a good one) hard to do. I was hoping that with time things would get back to "normal" and thankfully that seems to be happening.

Last night I had grilled chicken with an assortment of veggies. It was great! I followed it up with a small bowl of chocolate ice cream, but hey, baby steps, right?

I still have quite a lot of gas (both directions) and bad congestion that leads me to toss my cookies from time to time (few times a week) but aside from those things, life is good! :)

Enormous boobs? CHECK!
Growing abdomen? CHECK!
Wedding Ring getting tight on finger? CHECK!
Bad gagging and throwing up at times when brushing teeth? CHECK!
Aches and pains, including the awful return of "Sciatica"? CHECK!
Feeling ugly and fat everyday? CHECK!
Zits-o-plenty? CHECK! Check! CHECK! ;)

Things are going well it seems. I'm so glad that we are almost half way through this and that things are okay. The first time around, once past week 12, I never gave things a second thought. This time, however, I'm more cautiously optimistic. I know a few people who have experienced loss recently, and one was as late as 20 weeks! You seem to think you are "okay" after the first trimester, but bad things still happen. I hope that we don't have to worry about that, but it is always on your mind.

My guess is that knowing how great it is to have a child and loving her so much, I feel more aware that things can take place to rob you of that joy. I fear for her on a regular basis (even dropping her off at school) and so this one in my belly gets the same treatment.

The OTHER baby news

Dh had a sex dream! No not that kind...the kind that gives you a hint to the sex of the child. During my first pregnancy I was CONVINCED I was carrying a boy. Dh had two "girl" dreams, and viola....My girl *was* a girl when she popped out. This go round he had a boy dream. I tend to agree with him due to the fact that the pregnancy feels very different with very different symptoms thus far.

He says he's waiting for a second dream to "confirm" the sex. It will be our only confirmation since we have decided NOT to find out the sex in our next scan, happening two weeks from today! I trust DH's dreams because they have been right about *other things* during our courtship and marriage. He seems to have some weird sense of things that comes through every blue moon. I cannot wait to learn if he's still got it! ;)

Big Girls DO Cry!!!!

2008-10-03T19:05:00.000-07:00

Especially THIS ONE!

These days everything upsets me more easily and the tears flow much more easily than they have in ages. I remember during the last pregnancy, I had a terrible time with the emotions I felt were overwhelming me. This happened EARLY on and was hard to get used to since I'm not a crier by nature.

This go round, it is a big different. I have been fine...until now. Last night the water works started over a few words with my husband and lasted a while. Today my mom snapped at me about some stupid ass crap and as soon as I calmly hung up, I was bawling. Believe you me....I was ready to cry on the phone but I wasn't going to do that since I knew she was mad at me to begin with and looking for a fight. She wanted to get my goat, so I wasn't going to let her know she had.

I got a call soon after that and was bawling on it because I hadn't worked the mom call out of me yet and so when I tried to talk calmly it just led to more tears!

My daughter and I watched Cars (the Pixar flick) two days ago and i was CRYING hard at the end. They are cars! And animated ones at that! Today we watched Nemo and--you guessed it--way way way more tears. (Fish are much closer to being human than cars ever could be!)

We don't usually watch so many movies but without cable...that is all we have!

I hope the tears dry up soon. I am having a hard enough time getting enough water down as it is. I don't need something else depleting my stores! :)

In the still of the night....

2008-09-28T22:26:00.001-07:00

I sit here after doing much needed grading, thinking about how much my body is changing. The reason for the contemplation on this topic is how sore I am. I was helping us move the past two days and I didn't even do any "heavy" lifting. I did do a lot of packing and was on my feet for a LONG time, but I didn't feel like I should FEEL things as much as I have.

Last night, I was really wondering if I'd be able to get out of bed this morning. SERIOUSLY! I was so worried because my lower back was KILLING ME! My feet were throbbing. I was just exhausted.

That evening--around 9-- I was SO close to tears because I knew my night was NOT close to being over. I finally was in bed around 11:30, and it was just not soon enough for me. PLUS, I had to be up early this am, so there wasn't a chance to sleep in. No cat naps. No resting.

I did wake up fine this a.m. with small reminders of yesterday and made a strong effort today to take it easy. I *did* help with cleaning/packing things, but didn't lift much of ANYTHING and took LOTS of sitting breaks. It has made a world of difference.

Now, I am not in the best shape to begin with, but being pregnant is a serious handicap when moving. Note to self: Next time, DON"T be pregnant. I moved into our house 4 and a half years ago when I was 3.5 months pregnant and now we are moving when I am just about at the same place in my pregnancy.

Glutton for punishment? Stupid? Unlucky? All of the above? :) PROBABLY!

Off to rest now...for two! :)

This is a "quiet" kid!!!!

2008-09-24T14:41:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a while, but things have been eventful!

Last week we went in for a regular appt and expected to hear the heartbeat of this little one. With my daughter in tow, we went in and hoped for the best.

No such luck. This kid would NOT let us hear him/her! IT was making me NUTS! She tried a few times, two different dopplers, and nada. So we made a follow up appointment for a week later--today.

I wasn't panicked, but I could have been more at ease had we heard it. Given that my symptoms are all still there, I have not freaked out too much, but I have worried, of course.

So today comes and we go --again-- with high hopes. Today is also daddy's bday! :)

With daughter in tow we go in for round two. Doppler and goo rubbing all over my belly and the only heartbeat it picks up is MINE (which apparently is a show off). After a few minutes of trying, and trying, and trying, the midwife opts to pull in a sonogram machine (a mini one, super small, tiny screen) to see if she sees the heart beating.

Very quickly we were looking at our little tater-tot! He/she was looking RIGHT at us. Weird. Anyway, this kid was sitting there, but fluttering in his chest was a little heart, beating away! The sono machine had no volume, so we only saw it. The midwife poked away at me a few times hoping to get the little one to move and he was WAY too comfy and just sat there.

Lazy? Sleeping? Down-right disobedient? We will know very soon!! Those personalities pop up fast...if memory serves me right! ;)

After the sono she decides to take another listen with the doppler, and after a minute or two, there it was...swish swish swish....nice and fast and hard. Beating away.

So glad we got to hear it and see it beating! VERY exciting day! :)

It is official!!!!

2008-09-15T17:24:00.000-07:00

I've entered the:

Yippeee!!!!

Things are going well. Still sick sometimes and nothing EVER sounds good to eat. I'm looking forward to being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want without thinking "ewww". Unfortunately, the stuff that sounds "eww" is stuff that is GOOD for me. Mostly bland comfort type foods are sounding half way okay.

Looking very forward to my next appointment in two days. I hope it goes well! I'll be back to post then! :)

Sooooooooooooooooooo

2008-09-08T08:59:00.001-07:00

TIRED!

Nine weeks and counting!

2008-08-26T16:40:00.001-07:00

Things went well today at my second appointment. It is week nine of the pregnancy and this was the full physical examination, along with an early glucose test (since my mom is now borderline diabetic).

The test was much better than I remember it being last go round. I think maybe the required drink has changed or something. Had I not hurled right before I got there, I think I would have rather enjoyed the drink! Unfortunately, my newly-raw throat hated the carbonation! :( PLUS, I generally avoid anything carbonated due to the natural gassiness that God gives you during pregnancy. So I was a burping fool for hours after the appointment! ;)

The best news to come out of this appointment is that we will be returning in three weeks to hear the baby's heartbeat again! The even better news is that I'll be taking my daughter with me!

As much as I'd love to spring this on her as a great fun surprise, the midwife said to prepare her before hand so that she's ready and knows what is going to happen. Getting to see her face as she hears the baby's heartbeat will make my month! The midwife also said that she has some cool models she can bring in to illustrate some things for my daughter's benefit. I'm excited for that little experience we'll get to share.

All of this in only three week's time!

Until then, I hope not to hear from the office. If i do, it will be a call to say that my blood work wasn't good and that I will have to start the GD diet. If I don't hear anything from them, then I'm off the hook! :)

Whatever comes my way, I hope for the strength to face it easily!

Headache Hangover

2008-08-20T19:05:00.000-07:00

Going without my allergy meds or any other meds really has seriously caused me some issues lately. Yesterday was horrible, with lots of head pain and sinus pressure. My headache only got worse over night and didn't leave until late morning today. I've been okay today but I am starting to feel the headache coming back now. I took a LOT of Tylenol in the past 24 hours and I'm about to take more. Hopefully, by using the neti pot more regularly, I can avoid having too many more headaches.

I haven't been a huge neti-pot fan, but it does help some. It *always* hurts my ear on one side however. I think I'm too congested there because every time I've used the neti pot I get pain in that ear after blowing. I reread the directions and cannot figure it out. I have my head positioned right according to what I've seen in the images. I asked my doc about it and she said it sounded fine and even though the paperwork said that you could be "too congested" to use the pot effectively, she didn't seem to agree and said I must be doing something else wrong. THAAAAANKS!

Only four more weeks until I can start taking some meds again. I CANNOT wait! I really want to avoid a sinus infection and that is where I'm afraid I'm headed with this pressure and pain. :(

Aside from that, things are going well. I'm exhausted ALL the time and hungry quite often, but I can work around it thus far!

THAR she BLOWS!!!

2008-08-17T21:07:00.000-07:00

It was a matter of time. It happened yesterday and was disgusting. I hurled the only thing in my belly--a plum.

Note to self: While sweet and tart and DELICIOUS going down, plums are disgusting coming up and HIGHLY acidic! No more plums for a morning snack!

Aside from that, my nausea has really subsided. I am gagging more from the build up of gross stuff in my nose and throat since I'm on no meds for sinuses or allergies. This is annoying, but not as bad as it was with my first pregnancy. My symptoms on the whole seem less severe. I'm still starving quite frequently so I try to eat slowly and snack wisely, but it can be difficult.

Aside from that, I feel pretty good! I am almost eight weeks now, so only four more weeks before we hit the all-important first trimester end marker! :) I am looking forward to it. :)

Swarsh, swarsh, swarsh...

2008-08-12T15:37:00.000-07:00

...and flutter flutter went his little heart today! :) We saw our baby's heart! THERE IS ONLY ONE IN THERE!!! (Thank goodness!)

It swarshed very quietly on the Ultrasound and it flutter-flicked on the screen. There is no "baby" to really view at this point, but there was a clear and distinct heart pumping away. I'm showing at 7 weeks, 2 days, which is right around what we expected just based on my cycle.

It was exciting, but now that I'm of "advanced maternal age" and because my family now has a member with diabetes, they want to test me early for gestational diabetes. I get tested in two weeks! VERY Early for that test, but I guess it is good to get it out of the way.

I'm terrified of the test. I was last go round too. I had very clean eating for the first 7 or so months last time around and tried really hard to avoid empty carbs. I tested a few points within acceptable range (a couple of points from the cut off) and so I was good to go. This go round, I'm older and (as of late) not eating as well.

It is really harder this time around because everything makes me ill. Almost everything, that is. The idea of a potato, mac and cheese or slice of bread is NOT unappetizing. The idea of most other things do make me wanna hurl. My stomach isn't easily settled in the a.m. I am able to eat a lot of fruits, but most veggies are not appetizing. I can eat some salads, but I cannot handle most vegetables except the ones i grew up with, which aren't the healthiest. (Think: corn, peas, green beans, especially canned or frozen).

Too early to really freak out. I'm going to do my best to at least eat homemade meals the next two weeks and get to the gym (which was dang near impossible over the past week and a half). I have been feeling so zapped lately, but I have to make it a priority. The longer I'm away, the harder it will be as i grow to get BACK to working out!

It was exciting to hear that things look good and as they should. It was nice to hear that the last doc I had sewed me up correctly to where I might be able to Vbac if I don't have other issues that come up along the way. The midwife we met with is really nice but seemed slightly put off by my...exactness? And questions. I guess they aren't used to people like me! She asked my husband, "Is she always like this?" and when we left, I told him, "WOW! That was NOTHING!" I usually have a long list of concerns and questions in tow and question doctors about everything, not just things I'm doing. They don't always like this. I don't care. I think its odd that they expect people NOT to be more involved in decisions concerning their BODIES!

Anyhoo. I had a good first visit and look forward to the next one. I haven't told the little one about her sibling yet, and do not know when to start to introduce the idea to her. She's ready and willing, but I want to be sure things stay "okay" before I get her excited! :)

Great day!!!!

Rumbly tumbly....

2008-08-09T14:58:00.000-07:00

It has come!

Feeling sick and having an unsettled tummy all day some days. I hate the sound or idea of most food but do eat a lot and find the worse the food is, the easier it sits in my belly. (Think: white pasta.)

I want to eat well but it is NOT easy to do these days. I wake up famished and try to choke something down but the uneasy feeling doesn't settle until my belly gets something it likes. Today that was at 1pm. Yesterday it happened at 6pm.

To make matters worse, my sense of smell is EXTREMELY amplified. I am not exaggerating at all when I say that nothing smells "good" and that all smells are making me sick. :( This means the smell of my husband is nauseating. The smell of my daughter's clean hair, kinda makes me wanna hold my breath. The smells are just so strong, that they are no longer pleasant. I open the fridge to be assaulted by so many smells that I wanna hurl.

This is all new because I had none of this with my first pregnancy. I have heard of these issues before, but never experienced them . With dd, I would feel ill if i hadn't eaten and upon eating, the nausea would subside! It was wonderful because it would clear out and I'd be fine for an hour or two. This lasted from the early stages of my pregnancy through the end. I am hopeful that this, whatever it is, does not last very long!

They say that most women have morning sickness until about 12 weeks or so. I hope that that is when this goes away! I say this because I have a strong desire to eat healthily and it is extremely hard when those foods make you wanna hurl!!!! :(

I guess this means the baby is doing QUITE well in there! I hope so anyway! :) We'll know in just a few short days! :)

So in less than one week...

2008-08-06T19:55:00.000-07:00

I will be hopefully taking a peek into my UTEROTOPIA :)

On Tuesday of next week, I get my first visit with the midwives to review my records from the last pregnancy, discuss my risks for doing a vaginal (after a C-section the first go round) and take a peek into the growing condo in my belly! :)

Inside, I won't see anything that (to the naked eye) looks anymore exciting than what you see above. Except it will mostly be black with a few fuzzy voids w/in the image. It is a baby, in its very early stages, that is too small to really see the "parts" on. Although, I am assured by everything I read, the parts on my baby at six weeks (today) are visible and definite. The entire baby, in fact, is quite small and about the size of the apple seeds pictured above or the lentils below.

If you have an apple, cut it open. If you have a bag of lentils, hold one in your hand. That is the size of my baby. It has eyes and a spinal cord well on their way to being real functioning body parts. He/She has tiny arm and leg buds in place as well. It is a boy or a girl already!! Since we won't be learning the sex of this child (to have a surprise like we did last pregnancy) we won't be finding out until the baby is evicted from its comfortable home in April 2009.

I am excited to see the new heart fluttering on the screen, if we are lucky enough to do so. It cannot be heard yet, but it is there, in motion. Conceived only weeks ago, this child is forming at quite a fast pace. It is a miracle to experience and an honor to be involved in the process of life and procreation. I cannot think about it too long or I sit in awe of my own body and amazement at the process.

I *love* being a woman, despite the other stuff that hasn't been so fun along the way in my last 34 years. Being able to support life and be a mom is a special calling for many as it is for me. I thoroughly enjoy my role as a mother and look forward to expanding our family with a second child.

First food run!!

2008-08-02T21:01:00.000-07:00

HOPEFULLY there weren't be many of these, but tonight I was starving. I ate too light of a dinner too early and 4 hours later (too late to eat really) I was FAMISHED!!! I had dh pick something up for me to have so I could feel better and take my prenatal (which requires you to eat first). I feel tons better, but I thought, "hmm...its a bit early for this, isn't it?"

OH WELL :) Hopefully, this doesn't happen too often this pregnancy or my weight-gaining goals will be history! I didn't have many the last time I was pregnant, but they say each pregnancy is different.

For instance, last pregnancy I had two bad cravings. That was it!

TWO the entire pregnancy. One was for chipped ice (snow cone like) and the other one was for Mexican Hot chocolate (something I found hard to find in the town in NJ where I was living at the time). One happened closer to the beginning of my pregnancy (first trimester) and the other happened in the last half of my pregnancy (end of second trimester).

Thankfully, it was summer time in NJ and the shaved ice wasn't too hard to come by. It took me three days to finally find a shaved ice guy on the corner somewhere and those three days were the WORST days I recall. I cried from wanting that ice so bad! I thought i wanted a snow cone but later found out it was just the ice I wanted. Had I known that, I might have saved a lot of time and had ice at home! :)

From the stories I have heard regarding pregnancy cravings, my experience was not usual! I was glad for it but now think if the cravings come, my husband may not believe me since our first time was such a different experience!

There are still so many unknowns and I'm eager to see where this experience takes me! They say each pregnancy is completely different. I had an easy go of it the first time around, save a few physical set backs and limitations. I will be interested in finding out what my crosses are this go round. I look forward to bearing them in the hopes for that sweet child at the end of the ride! :)

Waiting for the other foot to drop...

2008-07-28T19:54:00.000-07:00

Everyone has morning sickness right? I am *that* early on that it hasn't reared its ugly head yet. The thing is, last time around, I had it for the entire pregnancy! I don't remember when it started and I don't nkow that i could easily locate the books where i kept track of those kinds of things when I was newly pregnant.

I have heard from a few sources so far that it usually doesn't start until week six. That is one week from wednesday. I am REALLY early on. So no morning sickness yet and I am enjoying it.

I know its on its way, and I'm almost eager to get there because its another mental marker that lets me know things are progressing as they should and that I am moving forward.

I'm also pretty afraid of it. I remember it well and I also remember that it never went away like it does for many. I remember being 8 months pregnant on the floor of an Olive Garden in Princeton, NJ, puking my guts out before lunch.

That afternoon, I walked out of the bathroom (after a quick adjustment and cleaning up) and into the dining room where my husband told me that they could hear me from our table. I was mortified, but what is a pregnant woman to do? I blushed for a moment or two then dove into the basket of bread and the salad when it *finally* arrived! :)

So this go round, I am trying to enjoy the few days left that I may have free of morning sickness. I could be one of the lucky ones who has it fo a short period of time or I could never get it at all!

There *are* some lucky gals who never know the evils of puking throughout their pregnancies. Lucky bitches! :) I wanna be one too! ;)

Eight HTPs later....

2008-07-26T20:51:00.000-07:00

I am starting to BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so early on it isn't funny but the tests are darker and coming up quite fast. Today's was amazingly fast!!!! I'm stoked, but still cautious because it is just such a scary place to be after suffering early losses. **fingers xed**

Today we had a family gathering and it was hard to be hush hush. With things this early on, it is just too early to share the news with too many people. This part is *very* hard, however. I am also dying to tell my daughter, but being that she is 3 and a half and it is so early on, I want to hold off. Since she talks about her "siblings" often, I know she's going to be thrilled that her prayers (literal ones) have been answered! Seeing her face when she finds out will be priceless!

I need to call the doctor on Monday to make an appointment because the one I have was to calm my nerves and "confirm" the pregnancy but at this point I am starting to believe that I *am* pregnant and know that at seven weeks, it will be unlikely that we can see anything going on in there. I think we'll reschedule for 10 to 12 weeks, closer to when the OBs/Midwives want to see us.

The symptoms have started as well although so far, they seem manageable. I know the worst is ahead of me and I am braced and ready for it. I feel the symptoms are good because they remind me that my hormones are surging and that the pregnancy is thriving. When I don't feel any, I get nervous. I know I'll still complain as each one sets in, but secretly I'll be smiling and excited to experience them.

No pain no gain, right? :)

Welcome to the Wild Ride!

2008-07-25T07:08:00.000-07:00

This is the beginning of the adventure that begins with two little pink lines! I recently took that test and continued taking them for a few days before finally believing that I was actually going to be expecting. After a couple of early losses, I wanted to be sure before I got too excited.

But here we are. Number two's arrival is guesstimated for April 1, 2009--over four years after the arrival of number one. It is a bigger gap than I would have wanted, but hopefully the timing is all part of a master plan that will end up being for the best! :)

I wanted to keep track of all the ups and downs that go along with a pregnancy, from the unique perspective of a non-first timer. I also want to review products that I find myself looking into along the way since the trip to momhood is strewn with choices for mother and baby--some more important than others, but all decisions that have to be made!

Stay tuned for interesting tid-bits from the road to childbirth and beyond! :)